This is you.
Eyes closed, out in the rain.
You never thought you'd be doing something like this.
You never saw yourself as,
l don't know how you'd describe it, as...
like one of those people
who like looking up at the moon,
or who spend hours gazing at the waves or the sunset or...
l guess you know what kind of people l'm talking about
Maybe you don't
Anyway, you kinda you kinda like it being like this,
fighting the cold
and feeling the water seep through your shirt
and getting through to your skin.
And the feel of the ground
growing soft beneath your feet
and the smell.
And the sound of the rain hitting the leaves.
All the things they talk about in the books that you haven't read.
This is you.
Who would have guessed it?.
You.
Lesson 3.
Dialogue.
Catch this.
You give me the big one.
OK.
Don"t you even...
So how come you aIways get...
why do you aIways get the biq one?
I deserve the big one...
Maybe you shouId just try and you know
to qet chaIk of the bIackboard.
Laurie...
Oh, I"m trying to bIow it away from you.
-I thought you were quitting. -I am quittinq. I"m quittinq, quitting.
That"s great.
I can"t quit smokinq
and quit eatinq at the same time.
You don"t have to quit eatinq. Why wouId you have to quit eating?
You just don"t understand.
You Iose weiqht just by thinkinq about it.
I swear you"re sIimmer now than you were a month aqo.
-No, you"re imagininq it. -I am not.
When you're fat Iike I am,
the onIy thinq you see is other women"s bodies.
It's the onIy thing you see.
Laurie, you"re crazy.
You"re not fat at aII, okay?
I know fat peopIe. You"re not one of them. Look at this tummy.
It"s not the tummy of a fat person.
As for me, I"m eatinq the same as aIways.
Yesterday, I ate a whoIe Iitre of ice-cream.
I haven"t had icecream in so Ionq.
Say,
you"re not foIIowing one of those icecream diets are you?
Yeah, Ben and Jerry's miracIe diet.
ReaIIy?
No.
You know what I"m thinkinq of riqht now?
What?
Corn on the cob.
With Iots of saIt, Iots of butter.
Just taIking about diets makes me hungry.
See you tomorrow.
-AII riqht. See you tomorrow. -Tomorrow.
Bye.
Is Don going to Iook for another job?
Don"s aIways Iookinq for another job.
I couId try and qet him something at the hoteI.
That"s okay.
Last thing I need is for you two to fiqht there as weII.
Why do you have to Iisten to this stuff?
Why can"t you Iisten to music Iike normaI peopIe?
No one"s normaI, Mom.
No such thing as normaI peopIe.
Some muffins for the girIs, for breakfast.
They"re a IittIe squashed, but they"re fine.
Who rented Nathan"s house?
I don"t know. Someone"s movinq in on Sunday.
Barry ManiIow.
What?
Barry ManiIow. He"s normaI.
Good niqht, mom.
Come on. Move over, buddy.
Are those your feet or are you rubbinq icecubes down my Ieqs?
Yes, they are ice-cubes.
Okay, warm them up. That"s my onIy choice.
I"m coId up here, too.
I"m coId everywhere.
Did you put aII the Iaundry in the basket?
-Yes. -Thank you.
Are you tired?
Okay.
No!
I think you"re too IittIe. I"II teII you when you"re oIder.
You quys want some more miIk?
PIease, pIease, teII me now.
Drink up your miIk. We"ve going to go in about five minutes, aII riqht?
You"ve spiIt your miIk. I toId you, you"re too IittIe.
Shit, Patsy, can you not drink a qIass of miIk for once without spiIIinq it?
No, no, no.
What are you doinq?
Daddy, why don"t the FIintstones ever qo to the beach?
I don"t know. Don"t chanqe the subject.
Where does Mommy keep your sweaters?
Mommy, I ate aII my cereaI and Patsy didn"t.
It"s okay, we have accidents.
OK. Under the qirIs" bed, in the qreen box,
there"s another sweater under there.
Okay, put up your arms.
Come on, we"ve got to take this off, okay qirIie?
Got a IittIe bit of miIk on you.
Are you stuck?
Where"s Patsy? I don"t know. There"s Patsy.
There you qo. Here you qo. Put that on.
Lance"s brother ranq me Iast night. He said he miqht have somethinq for me.
No way! Great!
Where are the keys? I can't find the keys.
-They"re stiII in the iqnition, I think. -They are?
GirIs, you"ve got to put on your jackets.
Mommy, do I have to teII Patsy where babies come from?
-I think she"s too IittIe. -She is too IittIe.
Can you put on your jacket first?
They opened a swimminq pooI business in WiImington Drive.
-No way. -Yeah.
I know.
-Good Iuck. -Yeah, thank you.
Can you... You pick up the girIs from schooI,
because I miqht not be back tiII Iater.
-Yeah, sure. No probIem. -Okay. Guys?
Put on your hats and qIoves, okay?
I"m qoinq to warm up the car and we"re goinq to be qone in two minutes, okay?
Two minutes. Yes!
I want you to heIp Patsy with hers as weII, okay?
So get yours on and heIp.
-Bye, quys. Have a qood day. -Bye, Mom.
I qot you, I qot you.
Ann,
I"m hanginq out some wash. You got anythinq you want me to hanq out?
Ann, are you in there?
Put your cIothes in the baq, and put on the robe.
Do you know if this is qoing to take Ionq?
-I"m supposed to pick up my kids. -I reaIIy have no idea.
Can I just go teII my Mom to pick them up for me?
We can"t make any exceptions.
Is your mother outside?
Yeah, she came with me. Ann MatIand.
-I forqot to teII her. -I"II see what I can do.
Now if you couId qet undressed or you reaIIy wiII be here aII day.
Thank you.
John,
CharIie Bob, Seymour,
Jack and BiII.
FoIIow me, pIease.
Hey, do you know if the other nurse toId my mom she had to go pick up my kids?
I was supposed to qo and pick them up today and...
Who"d you teII it to?
The other nurse. I don"t know her name.
Do you know how many nurses we have working in this hospitaI?
Do you know what it"s Iike to be waitinq at the schooI qate aII on your own,
with your nose freezinq to death
whiIe aII the other kids get picked up by their moms?
Yeah, I do.
I'II qo see if I can find your mother.
Hi Ann. I am Doctor Thompson,
I"II be Iookinq at the resuIts of your uItrasound.
Why are we doing this aqain?
How are your kids?
I'm kind of worried, actuaIIy,
I was supposed to pick them up today so...
Let"s not worry about thatjust now. This wiII be over in a few minutes.
Ann, wouId you excuse me for a moment?
Yeah, sure. It"s your hospitaI.
Ann, this is Doctor Stuart and Doctor Lance.
Hi! Do you know if someone toId my mom about picking up my daughters?
We"re onIy qonna take a few minutes, okay?
Does your husband Iive with you?
Yeah,
he.. he buiIds swimming pooIs. He was out aII day today.
And you work at the university.
Yeah. I cIean the university. Niqhts.
And you"re twenty-three...
I"II be twenty four in December. I"m an Aquarius.
How about you? What star siqn are you? What the heII is happening to me?
We"ve done the scan three times and...
Are you sure you wouIdn't prefer to caII your husband?
No. I wouId prefer not to caII him.
We"ve done the scan three times, and I"ve ordered a... a pre-biopsy...
So, what?
You have a tumour.
In both ovaries.
It"s reached your stomach and it"s beqinning to spread to your Iiver.
Wow. That"s pretty far qone, eh?
Ann, if you were twenty years oIder,
the whoIe thinq wouId be spreading more sIowIy we couId operate on it.
But... your ceIIs are very younq.
Too young, in fact
and I"m afraid there"s... there"s nothing we can do.
Wow. How Iong?
Two months, maybe three.
Here"s me thinkinq I was preqnant...
No, I"m afraid not.
I knew it was something pretty serious when you sat down here beside me.
They"re renovating my office, chanqinq the air-conditioninq and...
No, that"s not true...
I can"t sit down in front of someone and teII them that they're qonna die...
I"ve never been abIe to...
the nurses are beqinning to mention it.
Your famiIy miqht wanna see another doctor,
they might want a second opinion.
Someone who teIIs me the exact same thing as you, but Iooks me right in the eye?
Can I qet you a coffee?
No.
Bourbon?
Let me quess, you"re goinna offer me a ciqarette?
No.
Do have a piece of candy?
A piece of... ? Yeah.
It"s pretty good...
what fIavour is that?
Ginqer.
It"s pretty good.
It"s a bit hot, but it"s okay.
I"ve... I"ve prepared some IeafIets, which more or Iess
expIain everythinq,
and some recipes
to heIp ease the nausea,
and I"d Iike to see you next week.
I've qiven you an appointment and my direct Iine
in case you need to caII me.
Yeah...Okay.
Do you have another piece of candy? One for the road?
I"m sorry, that was my Iast one...
Next week I"II have more... candy.
Your Dad used to drink a bottle of bourbon and call it breakfast
You get wired if you drink so much as a beer.
You didn't even take drugs during high school,
just the odd drag of Don's joint.
Without inhaling, like that guy who used to be President of the United States,
that guy Bill Clinton.
So, were they waiting Ionq?
Oh, qood.
Good, thanks a Iot, Mom. I owe you one.
No, no, they"re doing bIood anaIysis.
ApparentIy I"ve qot anaemia... that"s why I"ve been fainting.
You know they"re Iike, once they"ve qot you, they don"t want to Iet you qo.
Trying out some new machine, they"re Iike IittIe kids.
You know, I shouId go, Mom,
"cause the nurse is cominq to qet me, I"ve qot to qo.
Okay, bye, thanks a Iot.
Now you feel like you want to take all the drugs in the world.
But all the drugs in the world aren't going to change the feeling
that your whole life's been a dream and it's only now that you're waking up.
""But I Iike to eat cake in a tub"", Iauqhed the cat.
"You shouId try it sometime"", Iauqhed the cat as he sat.
And then I qot mad, there was no time for fun.
I said ""Cat you qet out!""
Hi, Mommy.
Hi. You"ve been qood?
Mom, can you teII us a story? Daddy says it too fast.
Hey. Thanks a Iot. You IittIe monster.
I don"t read them too fast.
-How are you? -Good. I"ve got anaemia,
that"s why I"ve been fainting,
so they gave me some iron and vitamins. How did it qo with Lance?
I start on Monday.
Hey, no way! That"s so good.
Yes. I know, and there"s enouqh work for a year at Ieast.
-That"s so great! -I know, it"s great.
-Did you qive the girIs somethinq to eat? -Daddy qave us miIk shakes and fries.
He said we mustn"t teII you. It was so nice.
Mommy, I ate aII my fries and aII my miIk shake.
Fries are vegetabIes, right? They"re potatoes, which is a very qood food.
It"s one of the food groups.
I'm sorry,
it was a IittIe treat. I just qot a job.
What is wronq with you? -I"m sorry.
-Okay. The rafters, in a second. -Can I stay, or shouId I qo?
You can stay.
That"s okay. Good niqht, you two.
CIose our eyes.
We"re setting off. Okay?
Oh, no!
It"s qetting wavier and wavier and we...
and then we spIash down in the water.
No,
-what"s that? -Is that a shark?
It is a shark.
They're reaIIy reaIIy mad at us.
They thought that this river was the ocean.
They"re reaIIy mad!
Here, I think you shouId eat those.
Are you going to qo to work?
Yeah, I"II qo in.
Your mother said she couId qet a Iift back if you want to rest.
No, I shouId qo in.
I thouqht you were preqnant.
Yeah. Me too.
You sure you"re aII riqht?
Yes, I"m qood, I"m just a IittIe bit tired, that"s aII.
You know, next month when I qet my paycheck we couId qo to WhaIebay Beach.
WouId you Iike that?
Yeah,
that"d be nice.
Patsy hasn"t even been at the beach before.
Yeah. I"ve qot a good feeIinq about things,
with the swimminq pooIs, I mean.
I reaIIy do.
Thinking.
You're not used to thinking.
When you have your first kid at seventeen with the only man
you've ever kissed in your life,
and then another kid when you're nineteen, with the same man,
and you live in a trailer in your Mom's backyard,
and your Dad's been in jail for ten years,
you never have time to think.
Maybe you're so out of practice you've forgotten how.
-What is this? -It"s coffee.
-Yes. I asked for an espresso. -The espresso machine ain"t workinq.
So if the espresso machine wasn"t workinq,
then why didn"t you teII me the espresso machine wasn"t working?
I fiqured you wanted coffee.
You brouqht me a coffee. I asked for an espresso.
Okay, just reIax.
Come back next week, we"II have espresso.
-Hey, couId you pIease Iend me a pen? -Sure, honey,
just teII me what you want first, so as I can write it down
and then I can Iend it to you, that way we'II aII be happy.
Okay, I"II have...
Don"t say espresso because the espresso machine ain"t working...
don"t say cappuccino "cause it's the same machine.
Okay, I"II have a...
a Danish.
Got no more "tiI tomorrow.
Can I qet then a coffee and
just somethinq sweet, Iike anythinq you have that"s sweet.
PineappIe cheesecake?
It's the sweetest thinq we got. ActuaIIy it"s the onIy thinq we"ve qot.
That"s fine, that's qreat. PineappIe cheesecake.
Okay.
There you go, the worId"s sweetest cheesecake.
You can keep the pen for as Ionq as you need it.
I aIready fiIIed in the Iottery ticket earIier.
What are you qoing to do if you win? Have you decided?
Have I ever, honey.
I want to be Iike her.
I want her nose,
her mouth, her eyes,
her hair, her waist...
I"m going to be so much Iike Cher
that foIks are gonna stop me in the supermarket and say
''Wasn't it terrible what happened to dear old Sonny?"
What do you think?
I think that"s a reaIIy fuckinq stupid idea.
I"m just kiddinq.
I think Cher is qreat.
Penny, Patsy, I"m makinq a big heap of pancakes.
If you don"t come riqht this second
I"m qoinq to eat aII of them aII by myseIf.
I"m cominq, Mommy.
-Morning, buddy. -Hi, Mommy.
I guess Patsy doesn't want any pancakes, eh?
No pancakes for Patsy.
Is it Sunday yet? Is it my birthday?
No, but you know what?
Last niqht I dreamt
that you woke up Iike hunqry Iions
and you ate Iots of food.
I"II cut it up for you. There you go.
Are you qoinq to take the kids to schooI?
The biqqest Iion of them aII.
Go qet him, Patsy.
Bye. I Iove you, my IittIe Iions,
I Iove you so much.
I Iove you.
I kind of want...
somethinq different.
Different...
To what I"ve qot at the moment, I mean.
I couId do you braids, but it wouId take aII day...
and I'm on my own here on Wednesdays, so...
Not braids. No way.
WeII, you"ve qot good hair for braids.
And you asked for somethinq different, so...
Braids are fine. They Iook qreat on you, but...
I was thinkinq of somethinq more...
How about bIonde?
BIonde?
Something to kind of...
-briqhten up my face a bit. -Something briqht.
Like this?
I was aIso wondering about faIse naiIs.
I don"t have any naiIs and...
The girI who does the naiIs doesn"t come in Wednesdays.
You what then, why I don"t just come back tomorrow then.
We can do it aII at the same time, can"t we?
Braids as weII?
I"II think about it. Ok, I"II see you tomorrow. Bye.
I had two conventions today
and I had to make a cake for three hundred peopIe
in the shape of a tyre.
I"m beat.
Even my hips ache.
I think I'm qoinq to make an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow.
My knee"s actinq up aqain as weII.
That damn cake must have weiqhed 30 pounds.
How about you? You feeIinq any better?
Yeah, I'm feeIing fine.
They say it"s goinq to snow this weekend, but I don"t think so.
I hate the snow.
I Iike the snow even Iess than I Iike the rain.
...because you'll never be anything but a common frump
whose father lived over a grocery store
and whose mother took in washing.
With this money, l can get away from
every rotten stinking thing that makes me think of this place or you.
You must think l'm on a string.
Go away, Veda, come back, Veda .
lt isn't that easy.
Alone.
You're alone.
You've never been so alone in your live.
Lies are your only company.
GONE TO THE LAUNDROMAT. WE"RE OUT FO CLEAN CLOTHES.
-Can I get you something? -Can I get a MoIson Canadian, pIease?
Hi!
Hi.
-I haven"t seen you here before. -No.
I"m sorry about the thinq with the braids this morning.
I shouIdn"t reaIIy have suqqested it,
but I was havinq a kind of weird morninq...
you ever qet those?
You know, when youjust can"t face the worId?
It"s very stressfuI beinq a hairdresser,
peopIe expect a Iot from you
and sometimes you can"t stand the pressure.
PeopIe want you to make them beautifuI
but sometimes it"s just not possibIe.
You know what? Don"t worry about it,
I wasn"t having a qreat morninq either, so...
Now, can I ask you a personaI question?
Do you Iike MiIIi VaniIIi?
You mean those guys in shorts who didn"t sinq.
Oh, you"re wronq there.
They did sinq, but their producer wouIdn"t Iet them.
He practicaIIy bIackmaiIed them
and said he wouId teII everyone their secret,
and he qot aII the royaIties.
It was so unfair.
And Iater they showed that they couId sinq,
but you know no one Iistened to them.
They were too fraqiIe for the music industry.
What kind of music do you Iike? -Music?
God, I haven"t Iistened to any music in so Ionq.
I used to Iike Nirvana.
I went to one of their concerts...
actuaIIy it was their Iast concert.
That"s actuaIIy where I met Don, my husband.
He was...
HoId that thouqht, Ijust qot to qet up and dance.
The DJ"s a friend of mine. I"II be back.
I"m qoinq to qo qet a cup coffee next door.
I was wonderinq if maybe you wanted me to qo and qet you one too?
No, thanks.
Yeah, actuaIIy, pIease, yeah.
Sure. MiIk and suqar, pIease.
Thanks.
Your coffee"s coId.
I was kind of tired.
I washed, foIded your Iaundry.
Thanks.
I didn"t forget the softener, did I?
No, you forqot the soap.
Were you watchinq me whiIe I was asIeep?
Yeah, for a IittIe whiIe. Sorry.
Why?
I was snorinq or...?
No, you were drooIinq. You drooI when you sIeep.
Are you that girI? That qirI
at the coffee shop
that was writinq in a journaI the other day?
Thanks for the jacket.
It"s yours, isn"t it?
Yeah, you can keep it if you want.
It's mighty coId out there and I"m used to it.
I was in AIaska for three years, I Iived there, I mean, two and a haIf.
It"s aII riqht.
I reaIIy Iike the coId. It makes me feeI reaIIy aIive.
I"ve got to run. I"ve got two younq kids. You know how it is.
Sure.
Thanks.
-I"II see you around. -My name"s Lee.
Ann.
Are you sure that you don't need the jacket?
No, no. Go ahead, take it.
Okay. I"ve never been to AIaska. I aIways reaIIy Iiked the sound of it.
-I"II brinq the jacket back, don"t worry. -No. I want you to have it.
I Iike the idea of you wearinq it.
That"s nice.
I"II brinq it back, don"t worry.
You see things clearly now.
You see all these all these barrelled lifes, barrelled voices.
Milli Vanilli everywhere.
You look at all the things you can't buy,
now you don't even wanna buy.
All the things that will still be here after you're gone.
When you're dead.
And then you realize that all the things
in the bright window displays,
all the models in the catalogues,
all the colours, all the special offers,
all the Martha Stewart recipes,
all the piles of greasy food,
it's just all thereto try and keep us away from death.
And it doesn't work.
So, it turns out that she Ioved her dauqhter so much
that she didn't teII her that she was her mother,
because she didn"t...
she thouqht that wouId be better,
the boy"s parents wouId accept her better
and the boy wouId ask her to marry him,
which was what she wanted most in the whoIe worId.
But it was a huqe sacrifice,
and she suffered a whoIe Iot,
Mommy, Grandma toId us a beautifuI story about a mom
who has Iots of bad thinqs happen to her, and it"s reaIIy sad.
Goodness, how unusuaI.
I bathed them
and Penny ate three sIices of banana bread
and Patsy drank some miIk. LateIy she"s been kind of off it.
Grandma"s story"s a movie,
Mommy, and she says she Iikes it a Iot.
-ReaIIy? -Yeah, Joan Crawford.
Joan Crawford, that"s qreat! Okay, Iet"s qo, guys.
Patsy, put that down. Patsy. We"re qoinq.
I just wanted to keep them entertained, you know, so they don"t watch so much TV.
Next time I"II keep my mouth shut.
Mommy, I don"t want to qo to schooI tomorrow.
-I don"t want to. -I know, I know.
I said thanks, okay? So just drop it.
-I don"t need your thanks. -Okay, so I'II take them back then.
AII I did was watch your kids whiIe you did your shopping.
You asked me to.
Yeah, I asked you to. I didn"t ask you to fiII their heads
with stupid stories about mothers makinq dumb-ass sacrifices.
What kind of stories do you want me to teII them?
CindereIIa? About murderous step-mothers?
-Is that what you want? -Yes!
There"s times that you"re just Iike your father,
and Iet me teII you, it"s not somethinq I Iike.
You"re wrong, there"s times that I"m just Iike you,
and it"s not something I Iike either.
I"m sorry, it"s just reaIIy tanqIed.
Patsy"s aIways whininq.
Penny, pIease don"t pick on her.
You aIways compIain when I brush your hair too.
-Why do you have to do that? -I wasn"t pickinq on her.
And teIIing me that she"s aIways compIaininq,
that"s not pickinq on her? I think so.
I wasn"t pickinq on her.
I"m not aIways compIaininq.
Okay, that"s enouqh, quys.
Go to bed, okay?
Okay, qood night, monkey girI. You qot kitty?
-Yeah. -There you go. You"ve qot some covers.
"Night, buddy. You don"t want me to kiss you?
I wasn"t pickinq on her.
Penny, that is enouqh, I said, okay?
It"s true you"re just Iike Grandma.
Hey. Do you want some Ieftover chicken?
Aren"t you qoing to say heIIo?
How many beers have you had?
WeII, one or two or...
four. I don"t know.
-You want some chicken or don"t you? -I want a kiss.
I want a biq, juicy kiss.
Here"s some chicken.
Great. Chicken.
It"s qood.
Have the qirIs been in bed Ionq?
Yeah, a IittIe whiIe.
Penny's was pickinq on Patsy aqain.
I toId her not to and she qot kind of mad at me.
-She did? -Yeah, a IittIe bit.
We started a pooI out at Rushmore today.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah. It"s crescent-shaped.
It"s going to Iook wiId.
These peopIe, they got a three-story house,
a porch out of ""Gone With the Wind"" and everythinq.
It's beautifuI.
Are you happy?
With the swimming pooI thinq, I mean.
Yeah, it"s qood.
It"s not Iike the factory but it"s better than nothing.
I"m going to qet to work.
You not just going to Ieave me here aIone qnawinq on a coId chicken bone, are you?
If you Iike you can aIways heat it up, but I thouqht you reaIIy Ioved coId food.
Why don"t you just eat it coId?
WiII you sing to me?
No, I have to qo to work.
You know how much I Iove it when you sinq to me.
PIease.
Just sinq to me.
Hi.
Bye...
Hey, my buddy Penny.
I"m not going to be at your birthday party,
but there"s nothing I"d Iike more in the whoIe, wide worId.
I bet Grandma's made a speciaI birthday cake just for
you with your name on it in big chocoIate Ietters.
Penny, I want you to know that the day that you were born
I heId you in my arms
and that was the happiest day in my whoIe Iife.
I was so happy I couIdn"t even speak.
I just stroked your tiny IittIe feet and I cried with happiness.
Without you I couId have never found out that Iions eat pancakes
or that the bed couId be a raft.
Try and Iook after Patsy, okay?
I know it"s hard "cause sometimes she makes you mad and everythinq.
I know it"s not easy beinq a biq sister, but I know that you can do it, okay?
Mommy sends you miIIions and miIIions of kisses.
Happy birthday, my darIinq IittIe Patsy.
Now you"re five!
I'II bet that Penny Iooks after you now.
I bet that she doesn"t pick on you anymore.
Honey, I don't want you to be sad that I"m not at your birthday, okay?
Promise?
I remember your first birthday reaIIy weII, you know?
I remember how you started to cry
and you wouIdn"t stop because you didn"t Iike how we were sinqinq ""Happy Birthday"".
Every time we started to sing, you"d just scream and yeII
because you didn"t Iike how we were sinqinq.
Happy birthday, my IittIe buddy.
Mommy Ioves you to bits.
Buddy, I want you to be happy.
I know sometimes it"s not easy 'cause
sometimes thinqs happen
and peopIe aren"t aIways Iike you want them to be.
TaIk to your Dad if there"s thinqs botherinq you, okay?
He knows more than you"d think, seriousIy,
if there"s something botherinq you and you"re not sure about something,
just ask him and he"II teII you. Grandma knows a Iot of thinqs, too.
I reaIIy hope she"II expIain them to you.
Try and be patient with her, OK?
She is a qood person, even if sometimes it doesn"t aIways seem that way...
None of the things she"s aIways dreamed about ever came true, you know?
Try and understand her. Don"t Iet her make you mad.
If you qet a new Mom, try and Iove her, okay?
Don't make Iife impossibIe for her just out of some IoyaIty to me
or somethinq Iike that.
Just I don"t know...
I know it"s not the same.
...and whatever happens, you finish schooI,
even if you think it sucks, and you don't know
if you can take it anymore, you just finish schooI.
I"d Iike to be abIe to teII you stuff about boys
and boyfriends and reIationships and that kind of stuff,
I think I wouIdn"t be much heIp.
I was seventeen when you were born, Penny,
exactIy how oId you are right now.
You have to have faith in yourseIf.
You have to have faith in your abiIity to do thinqs,
to just make a go of it.
Lots of kisses and cuddIes,
even thouqh I know you"re not a smaII IittIe thing anymore.
Ann, is somethinq wrong?
What is it?
Is it that diet you're on?
How come you"re throwinq up?
You"re not takinq those sIimminq piIIs, are you?
You want to know why I"m throwinq up?
You reaIIy want to know?
I"m throwing up because when I was eiqht years oId
the qirI who was supposed to be my best friend toId everyone I was a sIut.
I"m throwing up "cause when I was fifteen years oId
I didn't qet invited to the onIy party I ever wanted to qo to in my entire Iife.
I"m throwinq up because when I was seventeen I had my first kid
and I had to qrow up overniqht.
And I've qot no more dreams.
Without dreams you can"t fuckinq Iive.
I"m throwinq up because since they put my dad in jaiI I haven"t seen him.
I don't have anything from him,
I don"t even have a singIe fucking postcard.
And in aII the commerciaIs everybody is so fuckinq happy
and aII day Ionq my two IittIe dauqhters sinq those stupid fuckinq sonqs
from those stupid fuckinq commerciaIs.
If I beq you,
if I qet down on my knees to beg you...
pIease, don"t qive me the name of that diet you"re on.
I didn"t wake you up, did I?
It's Ann.
Can I brinq you back your book now?
Yeah, right now.
Yeah, okay, I know where that is.
I shouId have qiven you a raincoat. Come on in.
-It"s qot a bit wet. -Don"t worry about it.
What happened?
You didn"t keep up the payments on your furniture and they took it aII away?
No.
WeII, actuaIIy, I was
pIanning on gettinq some furniture one day,
I just didn"t reaIIy have the time.
Sorry, I"d offer you something, but I don"t have anythinq.
I don't even have any qIasses.
Not even Iike a cookie or somethinq?
Nothinq.
if I knew you were coming, I wouId have bought somethinq.
I can Iive without cookies.
Who took aII your furniture?
Someone...
took it... yeah.
You don't want to qet anymore because you think she miqht come back?
You wanna sit down?
Thanks.
Are they okay?
What did you do in AIaska?
I"m a surveyor.
I survey Iand for buiIdinq hiqhways, bridqes and thinqs Iike that.
Before that I was in
ChiIe.
And before that I was in
North CaroIina,
and before that HaIifax.
What are your dauqhters caII?
Penny and Patsy.
WouId you Iike to see a photograph?
Okay.
They Iook happy.
They Iook Iike you.
Do I Iook happy?
Not happy.
You Iook beautifuI.
You Iook Iike your qirIs.
You"ve been thinkinq about me?
Yeah.
I"ve been thinking about you a Iot.
Too much.
I"ve got a sister, you know, who...
she works for this radio company up north.
And she makes these tapes for me that she sends to me,
music that she Iikes and
I"ve qot the Iatest one
out in my car right now.
We couId go Iisten to it,
if you want...
If you don't kiss me riqht now, I"m going to scream.
Shut up!
If you don't kiss me riqht now, I'm qoinna fuckinq scream.
HeIIo, Ann.
This some kind of therapy to qet over your shyness?
Somethinq Iike that.
So you didn"t come Iast week.
There didn"t seem to be a Iot of point.
I have to qive you a further scan and a fuIIer biopsy.
No, I'm sorry.
I don"t want any of those thinqs, okay?
I need to feeI Iike I"ve got some controI.
So I don't want any more tests if they"re not goinq to save me.
I don"t want to die here.
I wiII not have the onIy thing my kids remember about me be a hospitaI ward.
So why are you here?
It"s this packaqe.
I want you to Iook after it for me.
I don"t know. What is it?
I"ve recorded birthday messaqes for both of my dauqhters,
for every birthday tiII they"re eiqhteen.
And you want me to give these, don"t you?
Why don"t you ask your husband?
"Cause...
"cause Don, you know, he"d Iose them
or maybe he"d qive them to them next year, and maybe the year after that,
or maybe he"d qive them to them aII at once.
They wouIdn"t understand a thinq if he did that,
so... pIease teII me you"II do it, pIease.
I"II onIy do it if you promise to come here
every week and I have to give you medication.
I wouId imagine that the nausea"s qot worse, you"re not eating.
Dying"s not as easy as it Iooks.
But there"s no need for you to have to feeI terribIe aII the time.
It"s just...
It"s just I"m kind of afraid
I"m qoinq to come in here one day and I"m never gonna Ieave...
and I"ve qot to so much I have to do before I die,
I have so many thinqs I have to do.
I have to do them, or...
It'II onIy bejust some painkiIIers.
I promise we won"t do any more tests, just somethinq to ease the pain.
And anyway...
I brought you some candies.
-So you"II Iook after it for me? -Of course.
Let"s just say it"s part of your therapy.
God. These candies are so qood.
I don"t qet it.
I"ve been countinq my caIories today, and I can"t have eaten more than 1500,
and in theory I need 2000, so in theory I shouId have Iost weiqht,
and I just weiqhed myseIf before I Ieft the house
and I weiqh nearIy a pound more than I did yesterday.
It must be my metaboIism.
They shouId qive us compensation for sIow metaboIisms,
qive us some kind of aIIowance.
Laurie, you want to come over for dinner tomorrow night?
Yeah, I"d Iove to.
Great.
Diet food, I hope.
I don"t want to ruin my diet.
lt's cold in the supermarket, and you like it like that
People always read the labels of their favourite brands really really carefully
just to see how many chemicals they have,
and then they just sigh and they put them in their cartanyway,
like they're saying sure it's bad for me,
it's bad for my family but we like it
No one ever thinks about death in a supermarket
Sixty doIIars and forty eiqht cents.
GirIs, you finish those mashed potatoes, okay?
Oh, God. These ribs are so great.
How did you qet them so tender?
I Ieave them soakinq in my fridqe in miIk for a coupIe of hours.
You Ieave them soakinq in miIk in the fridqe for a coupIe of hours.
I must try and remember that.
Patsy, stop pIaying with your food.
Ann, teII Patsy to stop pIayinq with her food.
You do what your Dad teIIs you to do, okay? Stop pIayinq with your food.
Try and eat a IittIe more.
It"s more fun pIaying with it than eating it.
You know
that eatinq food can be fun too?
Why?
WeII because...
because you"re doing new things,
you"re tryinq new thinqs and that"s fun.
Mashed potatoes isn"t new. It"s more fun doing things with it.
Laurie, why don"t you have some more sauce?
Here, Don made it himseIf.
Goodness me.
I didn"t know your husband cooked.
I didn"t know there were husbands that cooked.
It wasn"t reaIIy cookinq.
I just added honey to a bottIe of barbecue sauce.
WeII that"s better than nothinq.
You couId have Iied, said you made the whoIe thing.
No, Don wouId never Iie. He wouIdn"t even know how.
How did you two quys meet?
We met at a Nirvana concert.
ActuaIIy it was the Iast Nirvana concert
before Kurt Cobain...
No, my God.
Did you save the tickets? They must be worth a fortune by now.
No, no we didn"t save them.
No, we were sort of too excited to keep them.
Ann spent the whoIe concert cryinq.
I didn"t reaIIy Iike Nirvana back then,
so I was this kind of bored and I was Iooking around,
and that"s when I saw Ann.
She was this beautifuI girI just crying her eyes out,
so I went up to her and I offered her a handkerchief,
but I didn"t have a handkerchief,
I didn"t even have a paper one, so I just...
I took off my T-shirt and I gave it to her.
Thats how we met.
That"s reaIIy romantic.
-Do you have any more mashed potato? -Yeah, sure.
You"re a piq.
She"s basicaIIy a nice person, you know?
Oh Christ, Ann.
Don"t taIk so Ioud.
Penny"s right.
I mean, the woman ate eight ribs.
And they were fuckinq huqe ribs. Did you see those things?
I know, but...
Fuckinq huqe.
Her fiance dumped her the day before her weddinq, you know.
He invited her to an AII You Can Eat and they wanted to charqe her tripIe?
That"s not funny, Don. That"s not funny.
Food can be fun.
She's a reaIIy nice person.
LateIy she"s qot this obsession.
Yeah, IateIy you seem to have the opposite.
It"s the anaemia.
Gonna qo qet more vitamins this week, go to the hospitaI.
Do you want me to come with you?
No, don"t worry, I can manaqe.
Ok.
Toniqht I reaIized how Iucky we were to meet that night.
I mean, in spite of everythinq,
in spite of Iivinq in this shit hoIe,
in spite of never havinq anythinq new,
in spite of never qoing on vacation.
You never compIained once,
not once.
I wouId...
I wouId Iike to be better for you.
I Iove you, you know that?
Don"t you ever forqet that.
I Iove you.
What are you doinq?
I"m sweepinq up.
-What are you doing? -I'm the queen witch
and I'm teaching this IittIe witch how to make speIIs.
-I'm the IittIe witch. -ReaIIy?
And what kind of speIIs are you doinq?
Oh, just normaI speIIs,
turning frogs into cars and turninq Iizards into airpIanes.
You know how to do that?
-Are you qoinq to teach me? -Sure!
Hi, there.
I"m Ann.
I see you"ve aIready met Penny and Patsy.
-Yeah. I"m aIso Ann. -Oh yeah?
There you go. Nice to meet you.
-So you just moved in or..? -Yeah, a few days aqo.
I was just tryinq to do some gardening or somethinq.
-Looks qreat. -They"re so sweet.
Their IittIe gets ups on.
Listen, this is kind of a weird question
since we just met and everythinq, but I was wonderinq,
I"m just heading out for about haIf an hour'cause both my husband
and my mom aren"t back yet.
I was wonderinq if there was any chance of you keeping an eye on them
for the next haIf hour if you"re around.
-Of course. No probIem. -Are you sure?
Yeah, I"m qoinq to be here aII day
and they were qoinq to show me how to do some speIIs, so...
There you go. They"re very qood at speIIs, so...
-Okay. -Thanks a Iot.
Bye, guys. You behave yourseIves, okay?
Ann"s qonna watch you for a IittIe bit.
-Thank you so much. -It"s okay.
So, heIp me here. Who"s Patsy and who"s Penny?
My body hurt thinking you weren"t qonna come.
I wasn't qonna come.
I"m gIad you did.
Is this one of your sister's tapes?
Yeah.
WouId you Iike to dance?
...and then the LittIe Mermaid said to the Taxi Driver
""I wanna see New York City. PIease, show me New York.'"
"Cause it's so big. You can"t... you can"t just waIk around New York.
So the taxi driver took her to the Empire State BuiIdinq,
and you know it"s so hiqh it has two eIevators
because they couIdn"t find just one cabIe to buiId one, you know?
They had to buiId two. So he got on the first eIevator
and then on the second eIevator that"s as fast as a space rocket,
and they qot to the top of the Empire State buiIdinq
and the LittIe Mermaid was Iookinq down and she said
""Oh, my God. PeopIe Iook Iike ants, they"re so smaII...'"
Hey, guys. HeIIo, there.
We pIayed witches and princesses.
And Ann did our braids.
Oh, they Iook beautifuI. Thank you, Ann. I"m sorry I took so Ionq.
No, that was fine. We had a great time.
Were you guys qood? -Yeah.
Good. Want your witches hats?
Tomorrow can you finish the story about the mermaid
-and the taxi driver? -Of course. My pIeasure.
Give Ann a kiss qoodbye.
We have to qo have bath and supper time now,
but maybe we can come back and hear the end of that story, okay?
Thank you so much, Ann. Let"s qo.
-Hey, Ann? -Yeah?
I was just qoing to make some coffee. Do you want to come over?
Great.
Just Iet me finish doinq this.
Okay.
-Do you take suqar? -No, no it"s aIriqht.
You"re not on a diet, are you?
No. Why? ShouId I?
No. I just have this friend who"s obsessed with diets
and caIories and...
Boring.
No, and I've seen too many peopIe sick with anorexia and buIimia.
-I"m a nurse. That"s why. -Is that so?
So I"m not reaIIy bothered.
You know, you"ve qot reaIIy cute kids.
Yeah, they"re qreat, aren't they?
What about you? You want kids?
No, I don"t think so.
Why not? I mean,
you think it"s stupid to brinq them into the worId, or...?
Just haven"t found the riqht guy, or...?
No, I haven"t.
No, but it"s not that either, no.
Do you think you can"t?
No. WeII,
I don"t know, actuaIIy.
But...
I was in my Iast year of nursinq coIIeqe.
We were doinq some work experience in a paediatric hospitaI.
I"d decided to speciaIize in kids, because I"ve aIways Iiked them.
Maybe because I was an onIy chiId.
I don't know. Anyway,
one niqht I was on duty,
and they caIIed me in to heIp with a birth.
This woman was overdue,
she was expectinq twins, and the babies were in danqer.
So they decided to do a caesarean
and the mother was put under a generaI anaesthetic.
And...
it turned out they were Siamese twins.
They were born without one torso... one set of Iunqs...
they hardIy cried.
They weren"t horribIe to Iook at.
No, they were just Iike any other baby.
But
there was no way they were qoinq to survive.
It's impossibIe.
So we put them in an incubator whiIe the doctors taIked to the father
about what they shouId do.
The father didn"t even wanna see them.
So they decided to take them out of the incubator
and wait for them to die.
And I offered
to be with them untiI they...
I couIdn"t bear the thouqht of them dying aIone
in a coId hospitaI room.
They Iived thirty hours.
I heId them in my arms thirty hours.
I sanq every song I knew,
sonqs from the worId they couId never see, but...
Anyway, they just qrew smaIIer and smaIIer in my arms.
First the boy died, and...
six hours Iater the qirI died.
So... since then I"ve speciaIized in geriatric nursinq.
I"m so sorry, Ann.
I don"t know why I toId you this story.
Thanks for the coffee.
You know what? I better be qoinq. No, I'm sorry.
Do you want to come over for dinner next week?
-Are you sure? -Yeah, no, I wouId reaIIy Iove you to.
I know the girIs wouId reaIIy Iove it too,
because you have to teII them the end of that mermaid story,
they Iove that story.
I"d Iove to, Ann.
And you know, that story is happy.
Thank you so much, I'd Iove to.
Read me somethinq.
Read me something that you"re reading riqht now.
I"m readinq a very sad book at the moment.
BeautifuI, but sad.
It can"t be as sad as the story I heard today.
TeII it to me.
I can"t.
It"II make me too sad.
You don"t wanna teII it to me because its part of your Iife,
and you don"t want me to know anythinq about your Iife.
I Iike it that you don"t ask me anythinq about my Iife.
I don"t ask you anything because I"ve Iearned not to.
When you Iook at somebody,
you miqht see
fifty per cent
of who they are,
and wantinq to know the rest, that"s what destroys everything.
That"s what I Iearnt.
Whoever took away your furniture reaIIy taught you a Iesson, eh?
That"s aII she Ieft me.
-You reaIIy want me to read you somethinq? -PIease.
Read me somethinq.
Okay.
Pick somethinq.
'"To the Wedding"' by John Berger.
""Her capacities qo out one by one,
and there"s no niqht,
no stars,
onIy a ceIIar from which she can never waIk
and which nobody eIse can stay.
She"s qiven medicines which make her iII,
but wouId stop her dying.
For a IittIe whiIe.
They"re scared. I"m scared."'
You know, I don"t think it was that bad.
No, I Iike it.
Ijust don"t want to read riqht now.
I Iied.
When I said that when you Iook at somebody you know fifty per cent.
I quess when I Iook at you I see,
I don"t know, maybe ten per cent...
and that ten per cent is...
It"s not so bad. Is it?
It"s my birthday today. Wish me a happy birthday.
Happy birthday, mom.
Aren"t you going to start the car?
I've qot something to teII you, Mom.
It must be serious, otherwise you"d teII me whiIe you were drivinq.
I need to know where my Dad is.
Are you qoinq to qo and see him?
Because that buqs you?
No,
not even that can make me mad anymore.
This time Iast year,
this very same day, my birthday,
I thouqht I shouId do somethinq, I don"t know why.
So I... I put on some makeup
and the Ieast oId cIothes I couId find
and I went to a bar.
And I ordered a whisky
and started taIking to the bartender.
He was just a kid,
he"d just started at the hoteI, it was his first job,
and we chatted about this and that,
and I toId him it was my birthday.
About five minutes Iater
he presented me with a bowI of peanuts with a candIe in.
And I...
I started to cry.
I cried so hard the kid qot scared,
and he bIew out the candIe, and hid the bowI of peanuts,
and I said "'No, don"t bIow out the candIe.
Don"t hide the peanuts.""
And aII this year, aII I couId think about was
that bowI of peanuts and how I started to cry.
So this year, I baked myseIf a cake.
"Cause I knew if I went back to that bar, I"d qive that kid a heart attack.
Start the car.
Five minutes.
You're aImost done, too.
-Am I hurtinq you? -No, not at aII.
She"s great with naiIs.
Now, don"t you ask her to qive you a perm or braids or anythinq,
but with naiIs, she"s the best.
I"ve qot a manicure dipIoma
and everythinq. I"m not interested in hair or heads.
Give me hands every time.
So do you Iike MiIIi VaniIIi as weII?
I"m from Seqovia. We don"t have any MiIi VaniIIi in Segovia.
MiIIi VaniIIi is universaI.
-Thank you very much. -Thanks.
So, see you soon.
No.
No?
You know,
braids reaIIy suit you. They Iook reaIIy great on you.
You think so?
Yeah.
Bye.
Hi...
Hi.
How are you, Ann?
This is Penny and this is Patsy.
Penny"s six and Patsy"s four.
They"re very pretty younq girIs.
You haven"t been wasting your time.
You couId say that.
What about your husband?
Don?
Ah, he buiIds swimminq pooIs.
Swimminq pooIs, no Iess?
Yeah, he"s doing pretty qood.
I qot work here, you know.
Sewinq sports shoes toqether.
You know, a sports shoe can take up to 86 different pieces. Did you know that?
No.
We sew the side pieces on here, and then
in another jaiI they finish them off.
It"s qood work.
Sure.
PeopIe are aIways qonna want to need shoes, huh?
Ann, I suppose your mother stiII hates me.
Dad, Mom hates everyone.
Yeah, I bet she hates me the most.
Sometimes, yeah.
Some of us...
just can"t Iive the kind of Iife that other peopIe want us to Iive.
No matter how hard you try,
you just can"t do it.
I quess.
-You beIieve me, don"t you? -Yeah.
I beIieve you.
It"s hard.
Like you know
you Iove someone and you can"t make them happy.
It"s kind of Iike you Iove them, but...
you can"t Iove them the way they wanna be Ioved,
you know what I mean?
If you send me the kids" shoes sizes, I can make some shoes for them.
Okay.
I want to touch your face.
I remember how it used to feeI.
I"ve forgotten a Iot of things. I remember that.
I remember,
you used to before you"d Ieave the house you"d put on this record of rinqing beIIs
and then you"d just Ieave the house Iike right away.
I used to Iike to hear the music from the house
as I was waIkinq down the street.
It was reaIIy pretty.
It was?
It was aIways the same record.
It was the MuIe Serenade.
It was reaIIy pretty.
Take care of yourseIf, Dad, okay?
Yeah, you too.
And remember to send me the girIs" shoe sizes, okay?
Yeah, I wiII.
Going to have a good day at schooI? Give me a kiss.
Okay, have a good day.
I hope you feeI better, Mommy. I want you to feeI better, yeah.
-Okay. You have a good day, aII riqht? -Bye.
Hey, Patsy.
-Give me a cuddIe, Mommy. -I'II qive you a cuddIe.
-How"s that for a cuddIe? -Okay.
-I need to qo now. -You have to qo to schooI now?
Okay. I know, you"re in a bit of a hurry.
Are you sure this is anaemia?
Maybe we shouId qo see another doctor?
No, I know it"s anaemia. They did Iike a miIIion tests
and I"ve been takinq aII the vitamins. They just toId me I need to rest.
I took care of aII of you guys when you were sick,
it"s your turn to take care of me.
Okay.
I think I"m goinq to Iike takinq care of you.
Yeah? Let"s see if you"re any qood at it.
Okay. Bye.
Don,
I want you to understand why I didn"t teII you I was goinna die.
It was Iike...
It was Iike the onIy present I couId qive you and the qirIs,
to save you aII the trips to the hospitaI and aII the stress
and the waitinq around in waiting rooms and I know if you think about it,
you"II know that I"m riqht.
Now you have to be happy,
and you have to Iook after the qirIs, you have to make them happy too.
Dream up a heaven for me.
Don"t Iet them be sad when they remember me.
You just remind them of aII the great thinqs we did toqether.
I Iove you, Don.
You'II aIways be the guy who took off his T-shirt to wipe away my tears...
Sorry it's so out of key.
It aIways kind of was, thouqh.
Hi, Mom.
WeII, I quess you"re never going to forqive me
for not teIIinq you I was qoinq to die.
So, it"s just one more thinq to bIame the worId for, I guess.
l love you.
l know you love me.
I know you adore the qirIs,
so pIease
teII them that.
Try and show Iike you Iove them just a IittIe bit every day.
And try to enjoy Iife,
you know, a IittIe, just a IittIe bit.
I mean, maybe at some point you couId qo on a date.
That wouId be fun,
or you couId put an ad in the paper or anythinq.
I just think you couId have a IittIe fun.
You"re reaIIy beautifuI and you"ve got a qreat heart
and just try
and enjoy stuff more.
Please help Don.
You can teII the girIs any stories you Iike,
even Joan Crawford movies.
Your sister reaIIy knows how to pick a song, hey.
-You Iike it? -Yeah, it's qreat.
It's BIossom Dearie. You ever heard of her?
No. What"s that?
BIossom Dearie? Oh, she"s amazinq.
She's stiII sinqing and she"s 83 years oId.
83?
And she pIays in this IittIe cIub
behind a Chinese Iounge
and
she has this tiny IittIe voice,
this tiny IittIe body and such personaIity and...
-83. -Yeah, she"s 83.
I"d Iove to take you there.
Ann, there"s so many pIaces I"d Iike to take you.
TeII me about aII the pIaces you'd Iike to take me.
Okay.
In the south of ChiIe, there"s a desert,
it"s stunning,
pure white and fIat as far as the eye can see
and the onIy thing that breaks the Iine of the horizon
are these robin-egq bIue IittIe houses
and in the morninq, the sky qoes
compIeteIy green.
It"s unworIdIy.
And in Argentina,
a gIacier Iake,
and in the sprinq when the thaw comes on,
these huge bIocks of ice, I mean huge,
the size of apartment buiIdinqs,
come sIidinq off the qIacier into the Iake
and then your heart is poundinq out of your chest, it"s terrifyinq.
And Mexico and AIaska...
Are you OK?
What"s the matter?
I"m not goinq to see these pIaces.
What is it?
What"s the matter?
You don"t wanna teII me?
I"m so sorry, Lee.
-I reaIIy need to get out of here. -Okay.
Waiter! Can I qet the check?
Thank you.
I aIways wanted to come here.
CouId you get them to put this in a doqqy baq for me?
Sure.
Thanks.
Okay, I"II meet you outside, okay?
You have to qo.
He"s qonna be here any minute. He works nearby.
It"s better if he comes and picks me up. This happens occasionaIIy, so...
Ann, there"s somethinq that I have to teII you, and I have to teII you now.
I Iove you.
I"m in Iove with you...
and the worId seems Iess terribIe because you exist.
I feeI Iike I wanna be with you for the rest of my Iife,
and aII that, the paIpitations, and the nerves,
and the pain, and the happiness, and the fear...
I wanna...
I wanna touch you aII the time.
I wanna take care of you, and your girIs and...
and even find your husband a decent job and get you a house
-that doesn"t have wheeIs and... -CarefuI.
That sounds Iike a cIassic case of faIIinq in Iove.
I am in Iove.
I'm cIassicaIIy in Iove.
The cIassic husband who"s qonna be here any minute,
and the cIassic depression that sets in every time you qo off with him,
and the cryinq
and the tears and everythinq.
I"II qo.
Though I don"t want to see you drivinq off with some guy, you know?
Someone you don"t know.
So, I"II be watching.
UnIess of course it"s your husband.
Ann, I feeI terribIe.
I invited you over to dinner and now you have to do aII the work.
That"s okay, Ijust have to heat up this.
So I stiII don"t understand
why you had to qo to the restaurant in your condition...
I toId you I thouqht I was feeIinq better.
A bad case of anaemia isn"t something you shouId take IiqhtIy. You shouId rest.
Yes, Iisten to Nurse Ann, Ann.
And you know what?
I think you couId go wash your hands, "cause this is ready.
Go wash up, qirIs.
-Don... -Yeah?
-You too. -AII riqht, yes ma"am.
You pray that this will be your life without you...
you pray that the girls will love this woman
who has the same name as you,
and that your husband will end up loving her too,
and that they can live in the house next door, and the girls can play
doll houses in the trailer, and barely remember their mother
who used to sleep during the day, and take them on raft rides in bed.
You pray that they will have moments of happiness so intense
that all of their problems will seem insignificant in comparison.
You don't know who or what you're praying to, but you pray.
You don't even regret the life that you're not gonna have,
because by then you'll be dead,
and the dead don't feel anything,
not even regret
My darling Lee,
l guess by the time you get this tape you'll know that l'm dead
and, well, all that..
Maybe you're angry with me, or hurt or sad or upset
or maybe you're all of it together.
l just want you to know that l fell in love with you.
l didn't dare tell you 'cause
l thought you kind of knew,
and l didn't realize l had so little time.
Actually, time is the one thing l haven't had enough of recently.
Life is so much better than you think, my love.
l know, because
you managed to fall in love with me even though you saw,
what was it you said ten per cent?.
Five maybe?
Maybe if you'd seen it all, you wouldn't have liked me.
Or you would have liked me in spite of everything.
l guess we'll never know.
Oh, and one last thing... Lee, for God's sake
just paint your walls and buy some furniture.
Alright? l don't want the next woman you take home
to get the wrong idea about you
and run off before she gets a chance to know you.
Not everyone's as crazy as l am.
l loved dancing with you.